Warning: This post has gone much longer than I thought it would.
Posting after a long time. I have suddenly lost interest in blogging and the blog went private some 4-5 months back. I got caught up with other things and life went on. I have a long list of posts to read from my favourite blogs.
I have a poor memory. In fact, god has given me a selective memory. I don’t remember much from my beautiful childhood. Have forgotten almost everything from college. And many not so good days of my life. I have only good memories. Hence the “selective” memory. I haven’t made a conscious effort to be so. Or is it because I don’t try to recollect it and eventually it faded away? I don’t know. When people mention about something from the past, which I was a part of, I embarrass myself with my faint memory. This was the exact reason why I started blogging actively after marriage. I wanted to capture memories. (And yes, I had time to do that 😉 )
What prompted me to suddenly blog again today is this whatsapp conversation I had with my hubby. I wanted to record this. Where else can I do that except here where I have captured many beautiful memories.
A little background, before heading to the conversation. I am a person who haven’t cooked anything much before marriage. And not really proud of it now. Married to a person with a lot of cultural differences and a foodie himself, I really had a tough time cooking something which is pleasing to both of us. I had tried my best in the first year of marriage. I have experimented with all kinds of dishes.. Many cuisines, say Chineese, American, North Indian, South Indian, Mexican, South American have visited our dining table. I baked, fried, grilled. Tried out every recipe which I thought will be yummy. And then.. both of us put on a lot of weight. More on weight gain in another post. It didn’t bother us much until we fond out how inflexible we are. Having realised that there is no point in working out and complaining about not losing the belly fat as far as we feed ourselves all the unhealthy stuff (and an overdose of the healthy stuff too), there was a drastic change in the food we prepare.
Two plus years into cooking regularly, I doubt if cooking is actually my thing. I like serving food to my guests. I cook and carry something whenever I visit friends. I haven’t cooked for anybody close enough to tell the honest opinions, except hubby. He says good about it, except a few. But.. but.. I am not impressed with the food I cook. I wish I had amma beside me to guide. I wish I had listened to her when she tried to teach me to cook. I doubt if the opinion of Jay is honest or if he is trying not to hurt me because he knows the effort I take to cook each meal. He admits I am an average cook and cooking is not my strong point. It is just that the strong points vary from people to people and mine isn’t cooking. But I keep trying with new tips and tricks to impress him. Yes.. I cook only to impress him. Having raised in a joint family, I was taught to eat what is served. I don’t really make a fuss about the food. I can literally eat anything to kill my hunger. Hubby has a few reservations. He was a person who doesn’t take a second bite if it doesn’t impress him. He was. 😉 Now he has learned to eat to survive. 😀
Now to the present. There is this colleague of hubby. Let us call him AB. AB is married for three years now. He belongs to a caste where they don’t eat meat. But he eats. No big deal. I know it is upto an individual to decide what to eat and what not to eat. But the sad part is, his wife doesn’t know that he eats meat outside regularly. Not just this. She packs sukha rotis and a sabzi with less oil and masala everyday for lunch. AB just tosses this every single day infront of his colleagues and bitches about his wife’s cooking. He eats pizza / quesadilla / pasta at office cafeteria everyday. He has even taken a secret credit card to spend on such stuff. How heartless. He has been doing this for the last two years in US. I felt so sorry for her when I came to know about this. We have had many conversations about him at our dinner.. on how he is cheating his wife..on how he is disrespecting his wife..on how he creates an ugly image of a husband by bitching about his wife to his colleagues and so on.
I have kept the option for Jay to let me know if he is not pleasant about something I cook. I don’t compel him to eat something which he doesn’t like. No matter how healthy it is. There were a few occasions when he has said so about some curries or sabjis and he chose to not to eat it, *which is completely ok with me*. But all this happened in our closed home.
Today morning, I made karela and aloo sabzi for his lunch. Normally, I prepare the sabzi on the previous night and sleeps little extra in the morning. But yesterday night I was in no mood to cook. So I cooked in hurry-burry today morning. Karela is one vegetable which I don’t even taste. I absolutely hate it, but I cook it for him. Today, for the first time, he messaged me that the sabzi didn’t have any flavors and that he finds it difficult to eat. I felt so sorry for him and asked him to just bring it back and take something from the criteria instead. He did not come online for the next 15-20 minutes. Having known him for a few years now, I know that he will not do it. But I kept pushing him to go ahead and eat something else. He replied after a while that he ate it. I was upset and went yada yada on how I have always kept the option open to not eat something which he didn’t like. He immediately replied, I didn’t want to waste it. I almost cried at that. I know he ate it just because he doesn’t want to embarrass me infront of others. I felt happy and sad at the same time.
There have been so many such moments, which pass by without much attention in the huzzle buzzle of our busy lives. I thought I should document them before it fades away from my selective memory.
If you have read til here, thank you so much for listening to my rant. U mean a lot to me.