Celebrations · Me and Jay times · Sweet memories

One year of “us”

Dear Jay

This day marks one whole year of our beautiful union. One year of love, hugs, cuddles, happiness, dreams, worries, big & small decisions, arguments, fights, adjustments! Its so hard to believe we are married for a year. The first year of our married life has been so happy and beautiful, for which I take full credit for being a loving wife. 😀 😉

Ours was an unusual love story. It was not a love at first sight. I have heard many saying that my world has changed since the day I met him. Mine was not such a fairy tale. We met. Decided to get married. Got engaged. U flew to US. And the rest was over phone. Honestly, we did not have a good time. All we (read I) did was fight, fight and more fight. Our life had taken a 180 degree twist since marriage. I fell in love only after wedding. And I continue to do so every single day since then.

Getting into an arranged marriage, I had my own insecurities. I would say, YOU were successful in taking care of most of them. Once we started our life together, I could understand that you are far different from the person I talked on the phone. You are not at all expressive on phone. No, I did not expect you to call me sweet names every now and then. You know that. You generally talk very less. Plus, that was the first time you were making such longgggg calls. Plus, that was the first time you were talking to a girl other than your sister. Yes, I know you were very shy all through your college and never talked to anybody. Things has far far improved since then. Both of us have had developments as individuals. Apart from this, I see you a lot more confident and happy these days.

We are not a couple who have same likes and dislikes, who have same approach / ideologies to everything. We have more differences than similarities. Having brought up in completely different background, chosen completely different professions, being completely opposite personalities, we ought to have our differences. I had written about some of them here. We have agreed to disagree on many things. Most of our friends had asked us how do we manage to live under roof. Well, let it remain a mystery for now.

We have had the hell of fights on North Indian vs South Indian food. I just can’t have North Indian food everyday. You love North Indian food. You have a few favourites among the South Indian stuff, beyond which you don’t prefer. But we have started understanding and accepting each other’s preferences and differences. I have even cooked something which I haven’t even heard of before, just to please you.

Initially, you never helped me with the household chores. I was also new to the chores :p. Then, not sure since when, you started helping me in the kitchen. You managed the kitchen easily when I was not in a mood to cook. You started in the kitchen with managing the roti on the tawa when I roll them out. Then you learned to fry papads, then chutneys, then some subzis, egg curry, chicken curry and so on. Now when I ask you to do something new, you give me a namaste posture and says, oh no, once done, I will have to do it for ever. *rolls eyes*

You simply love collecting gadgets. We have enough phones in our cupboard to open a showroom. Needless to say, your love for curved monitor TV, laptops, iPads, Kindle, speaker, music system and what not. I am not at a techie. Period. I am happy to see you giving a second thought when you think of buying something now. Just a thought – do we really need this now? And I love you for that.

You are always simple with your dress. You still like to wear the same black old tee even after is has stretched enough to accomodate both of together inside. And remember that pure white tee with US flag on it, which has turned itself to off white and then to some other colour which I don’t know to put it here, which I had hidden. You shamelessly digged it up and started wearing it again. But every time we visit a shop, you push me to get something new. Every time we get out of the house, we fight over the slippers which you loveeee to wear always – no matter we are going to a mall or a vegetable shopping.

I love it when you throw tantrums to eat veggies and how you gulp it down when I roll my eyes and say no non-veg on weekdays.  I love it when you feel disturbed seeing me with tears in my eyes.  I love it when you compliment me for every dish I make – be it good or bad. I love it when you say maza aa gaya after every meal. I love it when you wait for me at the front door to say bye every morning even if you are running late. I love it when you press the car lock numerous times as you walk from parking lot to our home – which is a signal for me. I love it when you yourself clean up the washbasin or toilet when I miss to clean it. I love it when you pull me towards you under the blanket every night. I love it when you scold me if I am stressing myself out too much. I love it when you give up during any argument.  I love it when you deny me something, then buy it the very next moment.  I love it when you make faces at me when I yell at you. I love it when you say you will work/study from the bed eventhough both of us know that you are going to snore.  I love it when you laugh out loud when I imitate how you talk to your BFF (in Bhojpuri). I love it when you ask me the exact meaning of something you pick from the Malayalam movie / show and finally use it at the most inappropriate context. I love it when you come to me like an upset child with your heads down when something is wrong. I love it when you come and hug me from behind when I am busy doing something. I love it how you keep “tasting” one spoon after the other of something when I am cooking something else even if you know I simply hate it. I love it when you suddenly get into the situation when I am struggling with US accent with somebody. I love it when you push me all the time to be independent and do things on my own. I love it when you supported me when I was on double mind. I love it when you show some pranks to make me laugh when I am not in good mood.

When my married friends advice the unmarried ones to enjoy their life when they are still single, I stand up to disagree. I enjoy more after getting married. I still have my own set of friends apart from ‘your friends’ and ‘our friends’. I still get me time. I have felt more freedom after marriage than before. You have made me independent. You have changed me for better only. I haven’t felt missing anywhere.

Anyone can buy choclates, flowers or jewellery. But I believe, love is all about a million little things. Like the way you hold me closest to you whenever we are together, the way you save the last piece of chicken or paneer for me, the way you say I am beautiful whenever I dress up, the way you hug me tight and kiss me even when I am in sweats, messy hair and no make up, and finally to the way you make me wonder how you lived all those 30 years without me. I have seen the most irresponsible and careless person turning to a superb husband, taking over all responsibilities. Did you know that I had butterflies in my stomach when you suddenly hugged me from behind during our first temple visit and very innocently said, thank you god for giving her to me.

Of course, there are many things that we don’t like about each other. We have let each other know of it and we are working on it.

PS: One year is over. Now both of us can start showing our true colors as the gloves finally come off. Good luck my boy.


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