Happiness is understanding each other better through travelling.
We had a long distance relation between engagement and marriage, living in altogether different timezones. It was not easy. We had our own set of problems. We hardly talked on weekdays. I come back from office by evening 6.30 – 7. It is morning 6-6.30 in US then. We talk for hardly 10 minutes, and then its time for him to get ready for the day. (He leaves to office by 8) He comes back from office by 6-6.30. It is morning 6.30-7 in India then. After talking for some time, I move on to my morning chores and leaves for office. One year was a fair gap for a pair to understand each other, but not for us. We mad lot of misunderstandings, miscommunication and all that. In short, I married a guy whom I hardly knew.
After marriage, when I moved to US, my MIL also came with me. I had my own insecurities moving to a different country just after marriage. That too I am gona live with a guy whom I dont know really. Being newly married, and with MIL being around us, I was always a good wife and a good newly married DIL. Living in a 1BHK and having one more person around us, we hardly had some time for ourselves.
She left by May end. By then, his work pressure also was on a lighter side. We had some time for ourselves now. I love travelling. So is Jay. So we set out to explore places. Travelling is the most amazing thing we have done together. It creates memories which will last for a lifetime – something to be treasured. It is a pleasure to have that special person next to you, sharing that magical moment with you. We went on our first long drive to Los Angeles in July. Then we went all the way driving to San Diego. We visited Las Vegas with another family. Then the Utah trip and the recent Seattle trip and a handful of one day trips..
One advantage of travelling with your partner – just engaged or recently married – is that you get to know a lot about your partner. May be this is where the concept of honeymooning originated. I understood Jay better when we started travelling together – From the way he react to stress or difficult situations to the way he make decisions. We got to discover so many interesting things about each other, both good and bad. He always thought long drives are not his cup of tea. But out first road trip was a 350 miles drive. It was a drive we enjoyed soooo much. Of course, we took so many breaks. But at the end of the trip, what we learned is Jay likes long drives. What he doesnt like is travelling alone. When there is somebody next to him to talk and sing and play, he loves long drives. This inspired us to take more long drives.
I had my first migraine attack after wedding on our San Diego trip. I had stopped my medicines 2.5 years back. I was just mad. My head was splitting in pain. I thought I will throw up. Jay looked so helpless, not knowing what to do. He wanted me to have food – I couldn’t. He wanted me to sleep – I couldn’t. He wanted to keep myself close to him – I didn’t want him to touch me. I wanted to switch off the light – He couldn’t stay in a dark room. He wanted to watch cricket on mute – I didn’t want to see the light of the TV. I wanted complete silence in the room – he wanted to check up on me every 5 minutes. It was a big time for both of us. Next day he told me, “you were a monster yesterday night. Even when you described about your previous attacks, I never expected this much”. We still laugh thinking of that night.
When we leave our safe shore and are out there in a foreign land, all we have got is our partner to rely on. We trust each other and develop a feeling that both of us will always be there for each other. Not being around everything that is familiar to you or simply being faced with the unexpected tests – how well we can cope in situations like this.
Both of us are short tempered – but for different reasons. He gets impatient on long queues or when we can’t find a parking lot, or when somebody breaks the traffic rules, say changing lanes without giving signal. I cool him down then. I get irritated when I am hungry. So he makes sure that we have packed enough fruits or snacks. Or when the same song is played for a couple of times together repeatedly.
In his words, I always end up ‘over preparing’. I like to carry some homemade food, atleast for the first day. I carry lot of waterbottles. I carry everything right from hand sanitizer to band aid. Since we travel in car, I feel carrying the luggage is not an issue. He travels light weight. Just a couple of tees and a shorts for a 5 day trip, a few toileteries – he is done. But this way, we learn to understand the way both of us work and to accommodate to each other.
Then about the exploration pace. We learned that we both are in different levels. I like to roam around the whole day – utilising the max out of our trip. He like to cover important / famous places and come back to room by evening and relax. Over the trips, we are trying to strike a balance on this.
Everyday life, stress, bank loans, demanding boss — everything can be forgotten for a while when we are travelling. So we’ll be presented with a brand new canvas in which we can paint a brand new picture.
Wish we can travel as much as we did in 20 15 in the coming years too.. 🙂