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A push start..

Had been thinking for some time to do a post. But it got pushed off for its own reason..

And here we are already in 2015! Looking back to 2014, it was a lovely year..

I got new friends, got closer with the old ones, sheded a few fake ones and life goes on..

It was on 01st January 2014 that I got the membership of ICSI. The big start to my career. Before the end of Jan, my marriage got fixed and we got engaged in February. Had a busy-busy financial year ending in March. I turned 25 in April. April was a month of quick changes. My sis delivered a baby girl again. I moved to a new location as my department got shifted. New PG. The whole lifestyle changed then, with no friends around, no non-veg hotels, even no good veg hotels. I hardly had breakfasts. My would-be flew to US, thus pushing the wedding to the year end. May to November was a marathon shuttle between home, Kochi and Thrissur. Kochi has become the second home now. I feel as comfortable as home at the flat at Kochi too. There are days when I had rushed to Kochi after office just to sleep with my girls back there. The pleasure I find then is nothing compared to the laziness I feel to start early to office the next day morning sacrificing good two hours of cozy sleep in the flat.

In November I completed one year at office. Yes, I had my own fair share of office politics and work pressure. But over and above, I have learned so much. I had learned to mange different class of people, which was initially a very difficult task. As my first posting was to a Manager level, I had to take a quick transition from “doing things” to ” getting things done” stage. And it was not an easy task. I should thank my colleagues who supported me at all times. They taught me everything right from how to draft an official mail to how to deal with the personnel to how to complete the work ASAP and leave office on time and to what not.Thank you one an all. I would be always grateful to you, especially for the wholehearted support during the initial days at office. By November mid, I had resigned my job as I wanted to stay with my parents before I get married in Jan and fly off.

Coming to the personal angle, I am trying to sync with the fact that I am getting married :p

To be frank, accepting my fiance was not easy. My marriage got fixed in the snip of a finger. The proposal came through a matrimonial site, families met and seemed fine. I was half minded. The guy was born and brought up in North. He was graduated and is working for an MNC in Banglore.  I had zero knowledge in Hindi. I had left hindi in my Std VIII. I can hardly understand the language. I didn’t know if I could adjust with his circumstances, as I am a girl who never travelled much out of town. While my parents shared my fear with his parents, they assured me that my fear are totally baseless and he can easily get along with me. I was still worried. I didn’t want to make them come here just to hear me negative. So my dad travelled all the way from here to Banglore to meet him. He came with positive news and then he and his families came to meet me. We talked in private for nearly 20 minutes. Then my cousin came up with the time up sign and said they wanted to leave. 😉

He gave green signal from his part on the next day, I gave mine too. We started talking over phone. He was very shy initially, our phone calls got better. We understood that we have nothing in common. If I am X, he is Y. When I say I like A, he hates A. Building up the relation was really difficult. Our culture is entirely different. I am from a very close knit family. My parents, sister, brother in law, kids and myself doesn’t miss any chance to be together.  I had lotssssssss of problems with him, which I am unable to express verbally. All I could do was cry buckets. I tried opening up my discomfort to him, many times. And that gave worse results. When he communicated the same to his family, that took a different version. Talking 11 months over the phone, we still are strangers who talk twice daily. We did not have that “spark” which just-engaged couples should have. There were times, not once or twice, but may when I had thought to give up. But something and all forced me in. As I type this out, I have reached a point to understand and accept the differences we have. I accepted that every marriage is cross cultural. I accepted that there is nothing called perfect match. I accepted that you cannot find a perfect person. All you can do is to see the imperfect person perfectly. I accepted that he doesn’t do many things he should have done just because he is not aware of it and not because he doesn’t want to. I accepted that he is reserved, he doesn’t mingle much.

Trying to be optimistic with everything around. Hope things would get better after marriage.

Happy new year!

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One thought on “A push start..

  1. Acceptance you have already done, now next part is adjustment. Once you accept and adjust a bit, things were definitely take a better turn after the marriage. Telling this from my experience 🙂

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