A quick update:
I am on study leave, preparing for my exams. But I just cant concentrate anything without penning this down.
Staying in a hostel for the first time, away from my parents and cousins. I still remember the day. My parents took me to the college hostel on the eve of the opening day. My dad checked and rechecked “The list of things to be brought” given by the warden and made sure that everything s perfect. My mom turned around a thousand times waiving her hands to take another look of me, as she walked away leaving me in the hostel. My warden gave me instructions on Do’s and Do not’s. I was afraid of the so called “Seniors”.. the stuff called “Ragging” n so on.. I had my own anxieties and fears about a ladies hostel – a college hostel..
I climbed down the stairs to my Dorm in the 0th floor, which was supposed to be the one for First years – The freshers. I saw so many anxious faces just like mine there. I started chit-chats with the ones around me, while I was arranging my bed. My eyes caught up a pair of sparkling eyes and a lovely soothy smile. I don’t remember who started first and what we talked. All I knew was those sparkling eyes became my soul in a couple of days. Yes! I n Jee were the best of friends in a day or two. 🙂 As they say, one smile begins the friendship. We opened up and shared ourselves. And that was the beginning of the fairy tale of me and my Jaan. 🙂
I was so glad that I was blessed with a chweety chweety friend. She was gentle, sincere and hardworking. She has a mind to help others and always wore a 1000 watts smile.. 🙂 What ever we did, we did together. We ate, slept, laughed, dreamt, prayed and had fun together.. My problems became a big zero in front of her soothy smile. Her shoulders became my support. My hand was always locked in hers. She became my happiness, and my world started revolving around her. The sorrow of parting my parents and home soon flew away. I did not have a mobile and my mom called me during the dinner time to our hostel phone, which was always busy. The phone calls were permitted only an hour at the night before the study bell rang and an hour in the morning. During these 2 hours, the parents of 50+ inmates keeps trying to get the call connected. (Mobile phones were not very popular those days) I did not mind if my mom couldn’t contact me for a day or two.
We were in different classes and hence met only during the breaks. Her free hours were spent in library n I hate reading books. 😡 But I loved the library for she will be around me if I sit and read something from there. I started enjoying reading books. And even without my knowledge, her personality started shaping mine. I became more compassionate. I learned the art of love, the art of smiling, the art of respecting, the art of empathy, the power of prayer and so on. Days went by, and the whole college knew about our friendship. We were sooooo attached that I use to wonder how will I live without her after the college!! 😮
I developed a strong dislike towards the hostel food and started reducing my intake. Fainting in the classroom, severe headaches, tiredness etc became everyday stories. She sat near me and made me eat all those dirty idlis and puttus. Even I didn’t know how much I ate. She cared me soooooo much.
I couldn’t stay at the hostel during the weekends she went home. So I also go home. If at all I had to stay back, I would be all gloomy n moody. I just stay at my bed.
Two years passed, and there arose some issues between us. I don’t want to think of those issues and hence I am not mentioning it here. I just tell you, the entire fault was mine, just mine. I have hurt her so much. Just a Sorry was not a word to heal those cuts and wounds.
Then the college days came to an end and we became out of touch. 😦 I moved to another town to pursue higher studies. I always prayed for her happiness. I wanted my teddy bear back. If I could take back the time, just a few months and its all done. I moved on with my life, with a heavy heart. I wanted to contact her, but did not have the guts to ring her up. I mailed her one day. Just a sentence or two. She replied in negative and I was all broken. I convinced myself its God’s punishment to me. Not a single day pass by without thinking of her. I pen down my thoughts in a diary when I miss her to the core, all these years and I am maintaining it even today. Unspoken words.. Broken promises.. Shattered hearts.. Wet pillows..
Three years went by without any major contact. (I informed her when I cleared my exams, when my sister delivered a baby girl etc and she replied with an “Ok. Congrats.”) When I opened an FB account I sent her a request and to my surprise she accepted. After some days, one day I caught her online and pinged her. We had a chat for more than an hour and my heart was filled, till there was an internet disruption. (A ton thanks to FB) My body was shivering out of joy. I took her number from one of our friends, but still didn’t gain enough guts to ring her up. So started texting her, n we texted often after that. Initially, her msgs were limited to just a couple of words n I send her long-long msgs. Slowly, it started growing.
N today, this 16th day of May, 2012 was her 23rd birthday. I called her up in the morning and wished her love, happiness and success. We talked for some time.. I felt the ice in my heart melting.. 🙂 I heard that same sweet voice again, after threeeee long years. Her hello made me feel that the whole world is dancing around me. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Oye.. balle balle.. I texted all my friends that I talked to her.. I was sooo sooo sooo soooo happppppyyyyyyyy.
I thought of making a post on this day, to record my joy in my little space, where I share my world.